Long-distance relationships have been called many things over the years – useless, really tough, a scam, pointless, and just something that people don’t expect to work out. But that’s only because people don’t know the key to a happy LDR – maintaining intimacy!
Intimacy is one of the most important factors in any relationship, but for an LDR, it’s even more essential, since you’re physically apart from each other, and lack the feeling of ‘touch’. Don’t worry, you can still have a lively and thriving sex life, even if your partner is thousands of kilometres away, you just need to know how. That’s why, we have for you a comprehensive list of 10 ways that you can spice up your sex life and maintain intimacy in your relationship!
1. Phone Sex
Go old school or go home. Our elders were right about one thing, they knew how to adapt to situations, and that’s when they came up with phone sex. Listening to your partner’s voice is definitely a turn-on, so let’s look at a few basic tips for phone sex:
- Ask for consent, obviously. Make sure that both of you are comfortable with the idea before you begin.
- Schedule it, don’t wing it. You don’t want to try to have phone sex with them when they’re sitting in a meeting, do you?
- Start slow, don’t just rush into the sex part – foreplay is very important!
- Talk about what you would do to each other if you were together. You can also instruct them on what exactly you want them to do to themselves.
If Gen-X came up with phone sex, the millennials have invented sexting. With the addition of emojis, your sex game gets quite an upgrade. Here are the basics of how to sext:
- Foreplay is necessary everywhere, to set the mood and the stage. Take it slow and lead a buildup to an explosive climax.
- Language matters, so don’t be vulgar or crass in your terminology, but don’t be too scientific either. (Example: Neither breasts nor tits, say boobs)
- Emojis are an important asset, so use them! Make sure you know what each emoji means before you get started though. The emoji with its tongue sticking out shows desire, while the raindrops mean wetness, ejaculation or a climax.
- Don’t leave your comfort zone if you’re not ready, but try to toe the line for sure.
- Be careful while sending NSFW content (Not Safe For Work). Ensure you don’t use your work phone or laptop to do anything untowardly.
- You don’t need to have just one proper session, you can also casually sext each other throughout the day!
3. Remote Sex Toys
Long-Distance Sex Toys are something that absolutely every LDR couple should have. These are intimate pleasure devices that are connected to an app (or sometimes even each other) so that your partner can be involved in your pleasure, even from halfway across the world. Here are a few types of remote sex toys you can use:
- Apps: Get a wearable, hands-free device that is controlled through an app on a smartphone, through which your partner can control speeds and intensity.
- Bi-control: These types of devices can be controlled by both partners, so both of you can take turns to be in charge.
- Clones: If you want to get really freaky, you can get a kit with which your partner can make a clone of their penis/vagina to gift you. You can even attach a vibrator to it for added stimulation.
- Twinning: You can get two toys that connect to each other, to match the speed and vibration, so that it feels like your partner is right there with you. Syncing up your toys will help create a familiar rhythm for you both.
4. Mutual Masturbation
Quite a favourite of LDR couples, mutual masturbation is when you and your partner masturbate together. This is favourable to most as it’s cost-effective, easy, and doesn’t involve stepping out of any comfort zones. Here are a few facts about mutual masturbation:
- This can be done when you’re physically together, or even when you’re halfway across the world, via phone/video call.
- Watching your partner get turned on, or turning themselves on can be quite a turn on for you as well.
- What can add a little thrall is when you give your partner specific instructions to masturbate at a specific time, so you know they were thinking of you from across the world.
5. Cyber Sex
The classic and most commonly used method for LDRs, having sex on video call is a tried-and-tested method to increase intimacy. You can explore yourself in a comfortable setting with your partner present, and this method will surely make you feel closer to your partner than ever. This might just be the closest way to feel their presence in the flesh. Couple this with synced sex toys and it’ll feel like they’re right there with you. Watching them turn on or climax in front of you is hot.
6. Sexy Snaps
Another classic fantasy for almost everybody – nudes! Here are a few tips to keep in mind when taking sexy snaps of yourself:
- A good picture does not give everything away, instead, it hints and leaves the rest to the imagination.
- It’s all about the angles. Before you shoot, try a few different poses in front of the camera and see what works best for you.
- Lighting is just as important, so don’t go around shooting in blinding daylight, but instead opt for softer, sexy lighting. You can even play around with the lighting to create amazing effects.
Roleplay are a hot way to spice up your sex life, whether IRL or in an LDR. You can either set up a time place and situation or just randomly hit your partner up in a certain role and ask them to play along as a surprise. Incorporate your fantasies into the role play, and act out your wildest desires over the phone or via video call. To add depth you can even dress up as their favourite person/fictional character. Common and cliche roleplays include doctor/nurse, pizza delivery, plumber/mechanic, or the classic Indian favourite ‘damsel in distress’!
8. Sexy Playlist
Almost all music apps today have features where you can create a playlist in collaboration with another person. Start a sexy playlist with your partner where you can add your favourite sex songs – songs that you do it to, songs that make you feel sexy, or new music that you want to try doing it to. Whenever you spend time ‘me-time’, put on this playlist, and it will remind you of your partner and the good times you have together.
You might think you need to be on a video call to do a strip tease for your partner but this also works surprisingly well over phonecall, or even just sending them a video. Pick your preferred mode of communication, and start slowly, teasing them and making them imaginative as you remove each layer of clothing one by one. Pro tip: Wear a lot of layers to make the process more tantalising.
10. Heartbeat Lockets/Rings
These devices will let you feel your partner’s heartbeat from anywhere in the world. With its live feature, you can wear these during your intimate moments and literally feel their pulse rise in the moment. Very intimate, very romantic, very sexy and very necessary for an LDR couple.
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