Planning to go out and have some fun? Here’s some things you should know:
1. Set Clear Boundaries
After you’ve met your partner for the night, talk to them about what you’re comfortable with, sexual history and what the night will look like. Do not feel pressured into doing something that you’re uncomfortable with. Remember, it’s always okay to walk away.
2. Prioritise Safe Sex
Carry your own condoms! It’s safe to assume that your partner for the night will be carrying contraceptives, but carry your own for safety and surety. Always insist on a condom or any other type of barrier contraception.
3. Trust Your Instincts
If at any time something does not feel right, stop at the moment to rethink it, or leave for the night. You know your body best, don’t push through your discomfort or let the other person pressure you into continuing.
4. Tell Someone You Trust
Always, always tell someone where you’re going and share your location with at least two people. Trust is a significant thing, but safety is far more important. Set a check-in time with them and drop a message before you begin and once you’re done, to confirm that you are safe.
5. Safe, Sane and Consensual
It’s the motto of the BDSM community, but it resonates for one night stands too. Make sure everything you do is sane; you are sound of mind while doing it (not on any drugs or drunk) and all acts are consensual. The second something feels off, stop immediately and reassess the situation.
6. Prepare Backup Contraceptives
Have an emergency contraceptive in your bag, just in case. You might use protection and do everything right, but there is always a possibility that the condom might tear and you may get caught up in the heat of the moment. Even if neither of those things happen, carry an emergency contraceptive for your peace of mind and for those what-if situations.
7. Go Somewhere Safe
Decide where you’re spending the night early on. If you don’t want this person to come to your home and safe space, figure out if you would like to get a hotel room or if you would like to go to the other person’s home instead. If there is a third place where you feel safe, you can choose to go there as well.
Wherever you decide, make sure to let someone trustworthy know and share your location.
8. Be Clear About Your Expectations
You’re there for a one-night stand, not an FWB or a boyfriend. Make sure both of you are on the same page before taking the next step. You wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning and have someone confessing that they want something more, when all you wanted was one fantastic night. Be clear!!
9. Check Your Emotions
Remember why you’re doing this. This isn’t a date, or a route to a long-term relationship. Keep your emotions and expectations from yourself clear. Be realistic about what you want the night to mean to you in order to avoid disappointments.
10. Plan Your Exit
The morning after can be a little awkward. Depending on where you’re spending the night, make sure to have your exit strategy ready. If they’re at your place, let them know the night before when you want them to leave to avoid awkwardness. If you’re at their place, you can leave early in the morning after letting them know. Or if the night went well and breakfast is on the table, you can linger for a bit more.
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