“We’re back together” phase has passed by and there is indeed no scope of you two starting afresh. In such a situation, it goes without saying that moving ahead is the only option for you too. So, here are 7 tips for you to leave the past behind and start your life on a clean slate, without baggage.
1. Cutoff all contact & unfollow them on social media
This is the first boundary that you set between yourself and your sex. It enables your mind to register, recognise, and acknowledge that you two are no longer together, so you start living your new life devoid of him. Cutting off all contact in every possible way to going ahead separately in every sense of the term – in real life, on your phone contacts’ list, on social media – in every possible way that links you to him.
2. Stop visiting old memories, places, & people that remind you of him
Once you’re done with cutting off ties with him on your phone and digitally, it’s time to do the same in the physical world too. Have gifts that he’d given you? Flush it all out of your house, like Geet From Jab We Met had. Stop going to places that you two would frequent because they are bound to remind you of him every time. Stop meeting people who he had introduced you to, again for the same reason. Easier said than done, we get it. But it’s the only way forward.
3. Indulge in self-love & self-care
There is so much you’ve lost out on when you guys were happily dating each other. Especially the self-love and self-care part. Life anyway is busy and taking time out together might have been a challenge after long days at work and preparing those PPT for presenting to the client the very next day. So much so that weekends is probably the only time you could spare for him, although balancing that with the myriad to-dos at home or other responsibilities.
So, girls, now is YOUR TIME! Time to do all that you’ve missed out on while you were dating him. All the super-precious me-time, indulging in every activity that you haven’t had the time for, for what seems like ages. Update your daily skincare routine, get on with that dance or martial arts form that you’ve been yearning to learn for so long – anything that you have pushed to the backburner for the lack of time.
4. Don’t settle for being “just friends”
No, no, NO! Don’t even entertain that thought in your head. Because the chances are huge that you would fall for it immediately and want to make the relationship work. Suddenly your body would be enwrapped with the thought of giving your relationship a chance again and nurturing the idea that things can get back to those happy times, even when there’s no scope for it. Because your ex has moved on and so should you! It may all seem hunky-dory and the only way out but, trust us when we say that it’s going to do you more harm than good.
5. Avoid discussing your ex with mutual friends & acquaintances
It’s all about setting boundaries, like we’ve already mentioned before. You might be sharing common friends, whom neither of you will want to part ways with. So how do you manage the situation here without bumping into your sex? The only way to go ahead is not mentioning your ex at all and requesting your mutual friends to do the same. For your sake. If they really are your friends, they will understand and not want to hurt you by mentioning him even by a slip of their mind.
6. If necessary, seek closure or therapy to help yourself move on
Sit with yourself and ask what would give you closure, so you don’t keep on harping on the past time and again. Note the things down that you feel are the answers to your question, act upon them, give it a few days, and see whether the trick has worked. If it has, wear your seatbelts and get ready for an adventurous ride ahead of you. If it doesn’t, don’t you worry because it’s not the end of the world. There’s no harm or shame in seeking therapy to turn on a new leaf.
7. Make peace with the past
At the risk of sounding philosophical, jo hota hai, acche ke liye hota hai! And you will realise this when you are in a happy phase of your life again. Your ex has moved on. So you have a choice but to embrace the reality and move ahead for a better and sweeter beginning? Even though it may feel like an impossibility now, you never know what life has in store for you.
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