Pyaar ka pehla pehla nasha…the feeling of being in love feels ethereal. It’s exciting, it’s fun going on dates, and receiving gifts and compliments from your partner. You’re swept off your feet at the beginning of the relationship. Having a partner who constantly showers you with affection and attention can be a positive sign or it could be a sign of you dating a narcissist and being a victim of love bombing.
So what is love bombing and how do you know if it’s happening to you? Here’s a complete guide to help you understand what love bombing is and #BeALittleMore aware of how dangerous it can get.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used by a self-obsessed narcissistic and abusive person to get affection from someone they are romantically interested in by creating this “ideal” image of themselves. Their ulterior motive is to get power over the other person and khud ke ego ko badhava dena.
The main issue that you’ll face is that the signs signalling love bombing also appear in a healthy and positive relationship too. So how do you differentiate between the right and the wrong here?
In the beginning, everything will seem picture perfect and filmy. But once the love bomber feels safe in the relationship, they are likely to start showing their real face by acting abusive, manipulative and scheming. Sounds horrible, right? That’s why it’s important you learn more about it and take note of potential warning signs. This will help you know what to look out for and then what to do if you’re in a similar situation.
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10 Potential Warning Signs Of Love Bombing
1. Showering You With Expensive Gifts
Over-the-top acts, such as sending you appropriate gifts to your workplace (mehengi jewelly for example) or purchasing expensive plane tickets for a vacation, are common examples of love bombing.
All of this may appear innocent, but the goal is to trick you into believing you owe them. Their intent is to gain control and start a cycle of dependency.
2. Constantly Praising & Complimenting You
You love and crave admiration from your loved ones. Who doesn’t? It feels so awesome, right? But constantly being bombarded with compliments and praise can make anyone’s head spin. If your partner is laying down a path of roses and confessing their undying love for you it could be a red flag signalling that their feelings aren’t genuine. Here are some common phrases that love bombers use:
- “We were born to be together”
- “You’re the only person I ever want to spend time with”
- “We’re fated to be together”
Although in general, these phrases are not at all harmful, you have to take the individual’s overall behaviour into consideration when you’re analysing a situation.
Read 9 Ways To Overcome Jealousy In A Relationship
3. Always Calling & Texting You
They call, text, and contact you on social media 24 hours a day, seven days a week. While it’s normal to be in constant communication early in the dating scene, it’s a red sign if it feels one-sided and becomes increasingly overbearing.
If they start messaging you incessantly throughout the day, asking your location, and people you’re with, pay attention.
4. Wanting Constant Attention
When you’re with other people and talking to them, your partner might act angry and ask you to give them “undivided attention”. Refusing to leave after telling them you have to be at work early the next day is a common example of this.
5. They Reinforce That You’re Soulmates
Having this conversation when it’s been quite some time into the relationship can be cute. But if your partner starts saying things as below very early in the relationship, you need to beware:
- “We were meant to be together from the beginning”
- “It was fate that brought us together”
- “You know more about me than anyone else”
- “We’re soulmates”
6. They Want You To Commit ASAP
A love bomber may put you under pressure to hurry things up and start making huge plans for the future. When you’ve just known each other for a short time, they’ll bring up topics like marriage or moving in together.
The important thing to remember is that true connection takes time to form. It’s pretty unusual for someone to love a person more than the entire world when you’ve only been with each other for a few days or months. Give yourself ample time to really build the relationship and think through everything.
7. You Can’t Form Boundaries
When you ask them to slow things down, they’ll try to manipulate you in order to get what they want. Someone who truly loves you and cares for you, on the other hand, will respect your wishes and back off. They will allow you to think and give you space to make important decisions.
Love bombers become irritated by any restrictions on their access to you or your acceptance of the way they show their love. If you can’t make and form healthy boundaries, it’s time for you to back off because it’s toxic.
8. They Are Very Needy
It never seems to be enough for them, no matter how much time and attention you offer them. But consider this: Are you abandoning pals because they can’t tolerate being alone? Or, do you feel forced to respond to every DM since you were given an expensive phone as a gift?
Someone poisonous will make you feel obligated to them, so they can count on you at all hours of the day and night.
9. They Overwhelm You
When you’re with them, they never stop being charming and seem to be firing all their tricks up their sleeves to make you swoon. You never know what to expect from one instant to the next, and you feel obligated to see them 24 hours a day every day.
Genuine love has its ups and downs, but it is respectful and not oppressive. It is compassionate and understanding. Not something that binds you to a cage.
10. Your Relationship Feels Unbalanced
You constantly have this unbalanced feeling sitting in your gut. Being love-bombed can seem exciting at first. Honestly, you might not even know until you’re deep into it. But it can also make you feel nervous as you wait for the other shoe to drop anytime.
You should pay attention to these red flags. It’s critical to be in tune with your intuition and gut feelings so that you are not carried away by love-bombing methods.
Seedhi baat, love bombing is psychological manipulation and is very dangerous. And it is very normal to still have a strong emotional attachment to the love bomber. You’ll probably even want to defend their actions. However, you should immediately remove yourself from the abusive relationship and seek help from outside. You can contact your friends or even talk to your therapist. Even if it’s early in the relationship, it’s necessary to have an open conversation with your partner, so that you have a good idea about where the relationship is headed.
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