HealthSexIs Anal Sex Safe? Real Talk On The Pain, Risks & Complications...

Is Anal Sex Safe? Real Talk On The Pain, Risks & Complications You Can Expect

Myths, a direct fall out of lack of awareness and exploration, is a reality for anal sex. Mostly looked down upon as an aberration and an act of sexual perversion, although the reality is from it. It is only very recently that popular media has started talking about it through write-ups with the aim to spread awareness and initiate people, especially women, to the pleasures of anal sex. 

So, let’s dive in and discuss the risks, safe practices, techniques to be followed, and anal sex positions you can try with your partner.

What Is Anal Orgasm & A-Spot? What Does Anal Sex Feel Like?

An anal orgasm is a self-explanatory term. Like vaginal stimulation and clitoral stimulation, here orgasm is achieved through stimulation of the anus. Through touching, fingering, licking, and penetration. On the other hand, A-spot, also known as anterior fornix, is located about 5 or 6 inches inside the vagina. Comprising a host of nerve endings, each of which can be erotically charged. Anal penetration stimulates the A-spot indirectly. 

Anal sex can be an enjoyable experience for everyone, provided you use enough lube and take time to ease into it. Intense waves of pleasure that take over your entire physical being, anal sex can become something you want to repeat time and again, if done right. 

5 Things You Need To Know About Whether Anal Sex Can Hurt

  1. You are likely to feel a little discomfort, but only during the first few instances as you take time to get used to you. Besides, your anal muscles too need time to get comfortable with the entirely new experience of penetration.
  2. You need to use enough lubrication to prepare the anus for smooth penetration. Unlike the vagina that releases natural lubrication on being stimulated, the same cannot be said about the anus. The amount of lubrication often varies among women. So feel free to use as much as you want, till the time you feel comfortable on being penetrated. Unwanted friction caused due to lack of lube or lack of sufficient lube, referred to as dry penetration, can be painful enough to cause tiny tears in your anus’s delicate skin.
  3. You need to relax to prepare your muscles in the anus to follow suit. These muscles are made in a way that they remain tight for specific bodily functions. So, relaxing them is a priority to prevent pain and discomfort before penetration. This is a hack you have to remember when you want to know how to make anal sex less painful when you’re a beginner.
  4. The pain should subside on its own in some time. If it is severe or it stays for more than a couple of days, consult a doctor immediately.
  5. Prepare yourself mentally for a little bit of pink blood before you’re trying out anal sex for the first time. Although it doesn’t always happen when you’re new to it, it’s best to be mentally prepared so you don’t get an expected shock during the act. If you notice more than a few drops of blood or in case it’s there even after a few days, you must consult a doctor. Bleeding usually occurs as a result of the anus being too dry for penetration or because of an underlying health condition called haemorrhoids.

6 Anal Sex Tips & Techniques You Need To Keep In Mind Before Getting Into The Act

Here are some anal sex tips you should remember before practising it. 

Is Anal Sex Safe? Real Talk On The Pain, Risks & Complications You Can Expect

1. Relax

Oh, will it hurt a lot? Will I bleed? If your mind is racing with these thoughts, you’re probably not confident enough to experiment with anal sex. For you to enjoy the process, you need to consciously relax your mind and your body before penetration. That will in turn prepare your anal sphincter to relax. Otherwise, there’s no way the experience will be pleasurable for you. In fact, you may bleed more or your anus may not allow penetration at all, making way for a bitter experience and possibly more fear for the next time you want to try it. 

2. Be Verbal

Be open about your thoughts – how you’re feeling, when you want your partner to go deeper, slower, or faster – anything coming across your mind that you want your partner to know. Similarly, encourage your partner to be communicative too. Communication is essential when you are wondering how to do anal sex without pain.

3. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries

A direct extension of encouraging an open channel of communication set down clear boundaries that you don’t want your partner to flout. Tell your partner if you’re feeling pleasure, so he can continue doing the same then and in the future as well. Let him also know when you’re uncomfortable or are feeling pain, so he can stop himself right then and don’t repeat himself again. You may jointly come up with common secret codes to communicate with each other about how you both are feeling. 

4. Lube It Up

Grab your lubricant and make good use of it every time you plan to get active back there. Lots and lots of it, to prevent anal sex complications. As discussed before, your anus (unlike the vagina) does not get wet on being stimulated, which acts as a natural lubricant. Without this step, there’s no moving further on.

5. Engage In Foreplay

Yes, your anus doesn’t get wet naturally on being stimulated. But that doesn’t mean you can justify skipping the foreplay. Start with vaginal sex after oodles of foreplay, so that your anal sphincter muscles too are relaxed enough by then to enable easy penetration. A couple of vaginal orgasms create the right playing field for anal sex as well. Because the more aroused you feel, the more relaxed and prepared your muscles in the anus will be for penetration. When you’re facing difficulty with penetration and wondering how to have anal, this might be one step you’re overlooking. 

6. Find The Right Position & Pace For You

There are a whole lot of exciting positions for anal sex you should try before zeroing in on the ones that work wonders for you. Because all of them may not give you what you’re looking for from the experience. The positions also differ based on how experienced you are with anal sex, and what your partner is good at, among various other factors. Introduce the tip of whatever you plan to insert – a finger, toy, or the penis, for the tip of your anus to get acquainted with it, before inserting it any deeper. Also, be vocal about the pace that gives you maximum pleasure. Tantric sex is a great way to take things slow while making the most of stimulation and penetration.

3 Anal Sex Positions You Can Experiment With

Is Anal Sex Safe? Real Talk On The Pain, Risks & Complications You Can Expect

Wondering how to do anal sex? Here are 3 positions you can get started with.

1. Facedown

Lie with your face facing downwards and legs slightly apart. Let your partner sit on either side, as per his preference. Let him massage your anus with his fingers or a toy.

2. On Your Side, One Leg To Chest

Lie on your side. Lift your legs and pull them closer to your chest. Have your partner sit behind you for him to reach your anus.

3. Doggy

Get down on all your fours. Have your partner kneel behind you, to stimulate the tip of your anus before penetration.

3 Anal Sex Precautions To Exercise Before The Act 

1. Finish Your Bathroom Job, If Required

How to have clean anal sex? This is how. If you are wary that the pressure involved with anal sex may make you want to poop, visit the washroom before you get into the act. 

2. Be Careful With The Lube

Silicone lubes are usually the way to go because of their thick consistency, making them by far the best to control unnecessary friction that causes discomfort, pain, and bleeding during anal penetration. What’s more, they last longer as well. However, if you’re using a silicone sex toy, you cannot be pairing it with silicone lube as that can degrade the quality of the toys. Bank on water-based lubes instead. Steer clear of oil-based lubes as they tend to break down latex condoms. 

3. Penetrate Gradually

As discussed earlier, anal sphincter muscles are tight and don’t become wet even after stimulation, unless your vagina is. This implies you need to prepare your anus even better to avoid pain, discomfort, and bleeding. The best way to go about is to start small. After using a lube liberally, use the tip of your fingers, a toy, or penis to stimulate and relax the opening of the anus, to prepare it for penetration. Thinking about how to make anal easier? The pace of penetration is definitely something you need to focus on.


1. What should I keep in mind if I’m planning to practise anal sex for the first time with a partner?

  • Mentally prepare yourself to stay relaxed, without worrying about how to do anal sex.
  • Poop before getting into the act, if you’re apprehensive the act might make you do so.
  • Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and what you want.
  • Use lots of lube, preferably silicone ones, unless you’re planning to use silicone sex toys. In that case, use water-based lubes.
  • Don’t forget to use condoms to prevent the risk of getting pregnant (yes, that can happen!) and reduce the chances of contracting STIs (Sexual Transmitted Infections). 
  • Let your partner stimulate the anal opening with his finger, a sex toy, or a penis before penetrating you. Don’t be in a hurry during foreplay or after penetration.

2. Can I practise anal sex all by myself?

Yes, you can – just like you can masturbate vaginally. The process is the same, with the location being the only difference. Only remember, you may need prolonged foreplay and lots of lube before penetrating your anus with a toy or fingers. Because this part of your body does not become wet even after stimulation, unlike your vagina.

3. Are condoms necessary while practising anal sex?

The answer is an astounding yes. Contrary to what many may say, you can get pregnant by practising anal sex without a condom. Not just that, but not using one will leave you susceptible to STIs (Sexual Transmitted Infections). 

Several people tend to look down on anal sex as a perverted form of sexual and physical intimacy. However, truth be told, practising anal sex is as natural as vaginal sex because it does the same job for you. Pleasure, strengthening the bond with your partner, and exploring intimacy together. When all the pros are on your side, what’s the harm in exploring how to do anal sex, correct?

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