Most people associate an electrifying sexual experience with doing the act longer. While killing the game all night may be a stretch, wanting to last longer is a natural desire arising out of the difference in time taken by hetero partners to reach climax. For many couples, healthy sex life is vital in boosting confidence in the relationship. Unable to perform well in bed can be both embarrassing and frustrating. Educating ourselves is the key to knowing how to make sex last longer.
Without the physical intimacy that differentiates a romantic partnership from a platonic one, married couples can become more-or-less roommates. Learn to reconnect with your partner and bring back the passion into your relationship here.
10 Tips On How To Last Longer In Sex
There is no textbook answer to the ideal duration sex should last for. But through surveys, it is known that real-time penetrative sex lasts for an average of about six minutes. Not that bad huh? Well if you and your partner are managing that much, you shouldn’t be too worried. Yet you may seek deeper intimacy in extended pleasure and longer sessions. The interesting part is, you can actually do something about it. Before we tell you how to last longer in sex, you must know that it is as much about enjoying the process to make it better, than just make it longer in duration. Also, consent from your partner is important for both to enjoy together.
1. Change Positions
For prolonged sex, it is best to switch positions while at it. Sticking to one position will build up the intensity to the point from where there’s no coming back. A switch in position works as a breather, a distraction that allows both people to explore alternate kinds of stimulation but without reaching the point of orgasm quickly. It is a good solution to how to last longer in bed naturally and gives time to the male partner to control the ejaculation and rebuild the sensation a little. Know all about the sex positions that are more likely to help women achieve the big O here. Or if pain during sex is a concern, here is a guide to comfortable and stimulating sex positions.
2. Practise Edging
Edging (also called surfing, peaking, teasing, and more) is the practice of stopping yourself from reaching orgasm right when you’re on the cusp — the metaphorical “edge” right before you fall off the cliff into sexual climax. Actively distracting the mind is a technique you can put to use if you feel you have enough control over your mind. A quick derailing of thoughts when you know you are reaching the peak helps the muscles to calm down and that way prevents ejaculation. Think of anything but your recipe for arousal.
3. Squeezing Technique
Another in-the-act intervention on the involved person’s part could be the ‘squeezing technique’. When the male partner feels like they are about to ejaculate they (or the other person) can hold the tip of their penis below the head and press gently on it for about 7-10 seconds. This restricts the blood flow and delays ejaculation. This method is your effective answer to how to last long in the bed as it stays the male orgasm and creates the opportunity for another build-up.
4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises
Pelvic-floor strengthening exercises are not only for females with urinary incontinence. Men too can do pelvic floor exercises to help them improve their ability to control ejaculation. Encourage your male partner to find the answer to how to stay longer in sex in practising squeezing and relaxing the muscles between their thighs and genitalia. They can do this at any time of the day while sitting on a chair or lying on the bed with their feet flat on the ground. Doctors suggest that a simple exercise such as this can improve performance in the bed by a lot.
5. Try New Stimulations & Sexual Acts
Remember that the worth of good sex lies in good foreplay. Penetration cannot be your only goal. It is not even the actual way a large number of women are having orgasms for the most part. Sex is a lot about thoroughly enjoying the intimacy and you can try a multitude of stimulation types including toys and oral sex to spice up the routine! While penetration practically cannot last for too long, the foreplay and after play last much longer and are more important for an emotionally and physically fulfilling experience for both. How to last long in the bed includes everything from beginning till the end and not just the duration of penetration. And there are several types of sex to make the act last longer. Learn from a Sexologist all you need to know about anal sex here. And if oral sex is on your mind, here’s all you need to know before embarking on a wild ride of sexual gratification!
6. You Actually Can Keep Going
What if you already had your climax? If one person is past it doesn’t mean the other needs to stop too. You can help each other till the very end. On how to have longer sex even past the peak points of both, you can consider the rest as a break and start working your bodies again. Most likely both of you can be aroused again and the male partner may get another erection. Apart from what you can actually do in bed, your preparation counts equally.
7. Condoms For Long Lasting Pleasure
Condoms not only help prevent STIs (Sexually transmitted Infections) but also help to delay male orgasm. Since the condom is an extra layer over the skin, it reduces the pleasure sensation and delays it just enough for the wearer to last a duration satisfactory to both. You may look for thicker condoms for this purpose. Though do beware of doubling up on condoms because that creates a blatant opportunity for rending.
8. Set Time Aside For Sex
A bad and dissatisfying sexual experience isn’t always because of premature ejaculation but is more about not getting enough time for a build-up and for calming down afterwards. As mentioned before, penetration isn’t the ultimate key to good sex. For couples with busy routines, it can be difficult to get enough before and after time when the urge arises. Stealing a little time here and there can interrupt your concentration and result in a bad experience because you were stressing about other work during sex.
There is nothing un-sexy about scheduling a time for having sex. It will rather help to be mentally prepared and throw away other stressful thoughts for that time. You will be happier and be able to last longer than when you were stressed and couldn’t keep at it.
9. Take Care Of Your Body
On how to last longer in bed naturally, keeping your general health in check is always important; even more so to keep your stamina up in sex, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. Exercising to keep your muscles toned and core strong, eating healthy for an active, responsive and curious mind, keeping away from smoking & heavy drinking are all very important to keep your sexual appetite intact. Men need a healthy vascular system to have a consistent and strong erection.
10. Keep Essential Conversation Out Of The Bedroom
Talking about having sex is the first step to having sex and you cannot ignore that. There is no gratification in sex when it is not equally reciprocated. You need to talk about what you expect out of it as well as what your partner expects. Talk about contraception, about whether something makes you, or your partner anxious (if you have observed that before), about STIs, and so on.
It is essential to have this talk outside of the bedroom. Do not make this conversation when at it. Pointing out troubles and anxieties when a person is naked and vulnerable is very un-sexy and detrimental to not just sex but the relationship-dynamic as a whole.
Good sex is definitely not about prolonged penetration but about being better at creating intimacy with, and stimulation for your partner. How to make sex longer when premature ejaculation is a concern for men? Well, we saw that it can always be controlled through these tips and a little practice. Yet when nothing seems to work, consult the doctor without shame. Your doctor is a specialist in the field and has heard and treated all sorts of issues. Additionally, always keep the conversation with your partner as the basis of your actions. Take it slow till both of you can understand and work at each other’s pace. It is hotter in the bedroom when you know exactly which switches to turn on, you know!