Renowned singer B Praak took to social media yesterday to mourn the death of his second child at the time of birth. He rued that it is his and his wife Meera’s most difficult phase of parenthood. He thanked all the doctors and other staff members where his wife was admitted for their sincere efforts and unending support. He concluded his message by requesting for privacy to overcome the irrevocable loss to the family.
7 Tips To Overcome The Trauma Of Losing A Child
1. Accept The Reality
Recognise what the reality is before trying to move on. Most importantly, don’t trying suppressing your pain. Stay with your grief for a few days as that will help you with the healing process. The process of getting back to normal will be painfully slow this way but it will enable you to heal holistically. Ignoring the reality in the name of moving on immediately will only ensure that the feelings stay at the back of your mind all the time, eventually manifesting itself in the worst possible manner.
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2. Stay Together As Family
It is totally understandable that you are completely broken. While you will need time of your own to come to terms with the loss, don’t deny yourself the company of your family. Because that is also equally important. Recognise the importance of the role that they play in your life and vice versa. Hence, it is essential for you to stick to each other and fall back on one another because these trying times need it. It will help each one from your family realise that they are not alone and that each one of you always has each other’s backs. That will not only help you overcome the trauma of losing a child but will also strengthen your familial bonds.
3. Prepare Yourself For Times When Everyone Will Return To Their Own Lives
The time after the loss can be divided into two phases. Phase one, everyone will be around you to console you and fuss over you. Those who will not be able to be physically present with you all the time will call up frequently to check on you. Your family, friends, and neighbours may bring you food, so that you can rest and deal with the overwhelming feeling of loss. But, as the days pass, everyone around you will have to return to their own lives as they knew it, except your family, and it is exactly now that your second phase will begin. You will start realising the extent of the rude reality and the loneliness that it brings along. It is now that you really need to mourn on your family’s shoulders and give yours in return.
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4. Reach Out For Help
There is no shame in reaching out to professionals to overcome distress. However, the realisation of the need for help should come from within. Only then will therapy be of any help to you. At a time like this, each of your family members are grieving the loss. While you need to stay by each other and keep the channels of communication open, a professional may be helpful for you in other ways. A loss of a child may have an adverse effect on the marriage and may also affect the bond that you share with your other children. So not just individual sessions but couple’s counselling and child therapy can have an overall positive effect on you and your family.
5. Seek Out Support Groups
Ask your therapist to put you in touch with other families who are grieving over a similar loss. It will give you the opportunity to share your emotions and, in the process, feel lighter. After all, dukh baatne se kam hota hai. Similarly, reach out to other family members, friends or neighbours who are also experiencing trying times and help each other get through it by being a constant support
6. Stay Away From Negativity
Negativity usually always has its way of finding us, irrespective of the phase of life that we are in. If some people do not know how to act with sensitivity and compassion, especially during difficult times such as these, the only solution is to flush them out of your life. Anybody who does not have anything positive to contribute to your life is meant to be avoided and ignored at all costs
7. Take Care Of Yourself
Looking after yourself is absolutely essential. Only then will you be able to sustain yourself and take care of your family in the long-run. Pay attention to your diet. Eat healthy and at regular intervals. Indulge at times, of course! Because what’s life without some of it, right? Gradually try weaning yourself back to the routine that you usually used to follow. Spend quality time with yourself too by channelising your creativity. Because an empty mind is a devil’s workshop. You must have heard that before.
Everything sounds too trivial when you’ve just experienced a traumatic incident. So nurture your feelings and let time heal you. If you have anyone who is grieving the loss of a child, #BeALittleMore active with taking care of his/her.
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