Divorce can be stressful. It is a big change in your life, and your life is turned upside down. Maybe it was the best for you and your partner. But the fact that you are leaving a side or a part of your life and moving forward into a whole new space can be scary. But with being scared, you are also accompanied by a stressful emotion. Where you don’t know what legal and financial steps should be taken. Or how would the divorce affect your financial and work status? And how do you cope with divorce as a woman? If you want to know more about your financial rights, post-divorce, watch this video.
This video will give you a basic understanding of your financial status and help you research and question your lawyer more about the given points. To learn more about your financial rights, check out this article by Lawyer and Principal Associate at Fox & Mandal Shruti Swaika, who explains the broad laws governing the financial rights of women seeking a divorce in India.
Now that you have the financial and legal part sorted. Let’s talk about how divorce can take a toll on your mental health. Divorces (due to various reasons) can lead to having many consequences. It could lead to having negative emotions or being emotionally drained, trust issues and a lack of self-confidence. It can also trigger emotions and cause serious psychological damage. It is crucial to try and not fall into a divorce depression, and seek help when you know you need it. It can be talking to your friends and family for support or professional help.
5 Tips To Get Over A Stressful Divorce
Getting over a stressful divorce can take time. It doesn’t happen overnight. So it is crucial to remember to be patient with yourself. Check out how you can rebuild your life post-divorce here.
1. Stay Physically Fit
You must have heard about “revenge body”, where you workout, hit the gym and get the body goal of your dreams as a part of your revenge plan (making your partner jealous). Well, don’t do that. Don’t get physically fit for someone else, but do it for yourself. Physical activity, hitting the gym is a way to stabilize your emotions since it aids in relieving tension, anger, and anxiety. It can calm down your stress hormones and help you get fit! Ek teer se do nishane!
2. Forgive Yourself
It might take time to do this, but the key to ‘how to handle divorce?’ is by forgiveness. During your divorce, you are bound to blame yourself or your partner. It might be true or far from the truth, but the blame game never helped anyone. It only lets you sink into the hole of negative emotions. Hence make it a point to wake up and say a few positive affirmations and take small steps to forgive yourself. Also, make it a point to forgive your partner (if you see fit). Forgiveness is the key to acceptance and moving on.
3. Take A Time Out
Divorces are messy, stressful and a rocky journey. And learning how to cope with divorce is a long but healing process. So take some time to nurture yourself, emotionally and physically. Read a book, watch movies, learn something new, do things that will promote feelings of self-worth and esteem. Pay attention to your emotions and cry it out if you want to. Don’t bottle your emotions, it will only hurt you and your loved ones. If things get tough, cash in those work holidays and take a break. Go on a small adventure.
4. Do Not Make Hasty Decisions
How do you deal with divorce? By not making any rash decisions. Decisions made in the heat of the moment, when things are stressful or in spite are never thought out. No one is capable of making decisions when faced with a life-changing situation. When you are dealing with a stressful situation, step back and think. Make a logical decision after measuring the consequences.
5. Build A Health Support System
After your divorce, it is common to steer clear from the outside world to avoid gossip. You would also like to be left alone and wallow in sadness. Don’t drown in a post-divorce depression. But instead of that find a healthy support system to spend your time. It can be a support group, friends, family or even a therapist. They will support you and remind you how special and strong you are as a human being. Trust me; this support will help you cope with things after the divorce. They are the ones who will prevent you from falling off the edge. And if you are unable to deal with the stress and are wondering how to deal with the divorce stress. Book an appointment with a therapist. They will surely help you! Here are some things you need to know before booking an appointment.
Things To Avoid When Going Through A Stressful Time
1. Do Not Involve Children
When going through a messy divorce, keep the kids out of it. And even if you and your partner are not on the same page, you need to ask yourself ‘how to cope with separation from your husband’. Not for your sake but for your children to have a healthy relationship with him. If your partner has a healthy relationship with the children, it is best to avoid using harsh and negative words around them. Don’t use them as spies or messengers, or make them take sides. Your behaviour towards your partner can affect your children. Also do not blame and throw your anger on your kids.
2. Do Not Go Binge Drinking Or Consuming Other Abusive Substances
People often take the route of ‘drinking the pain and sorrow’ and for that we say DON’T! It’s not worth it and the consequences will only make you regret everything. It is best to keep away from any kind of substance abuse.
3. Do Not Make A Decision In The Heat Of The Moment
How to deal with a difficult spouse during the divorce? There are times you’d want to scream and shout, or agree with conditions just for the sake of it. At times like this, take a 5-minute breather. Step out of the situation, think it through and come up with an informed answer. Don’t make a hasty decision because you will regret it later.
Divorces can get messy and can be like a rollercoaster ride. But the best thing to do is to strap on for the ride and come out like a boss! It would take time to come out of your usual routine. And if you need help, there are many spaces that offer legal and emotional help. Always remember that your divorce does not make you less of a person or a bad person.