Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation where the perpetrator (or the one gaslighting) makes the victim question their own sanity. It is difficult to ignore such behaviour as it is likely to harm your psychological wellness. Here are 5 signs your partner is gaslighting you.
1. They Lie All The Time
One of the biggest red flags of gaslighting is that they lie to you through their teeth and they needn’t be big lies. They lie to you even when you have proof to prove otherwise. They twist facts to suit their own selfish means and make a constant attempt to deflect responsibility or blame onto you. When your partner is lying to you constantly, irrespective of how big the lie is, it is enough to break you down gradually and question every bit of you, including your choices.
2. You Are Always The One To Blame!
For them, that is. Whatever be the situation, your partner will find thousands of ways to put the blame on you in every situation. For him, his fingers will point towards you. It is normal for couples to argue and blame each other once in a while but when he blames you for everything that he does, literally everything, he is clearly manipulating you. Because that’s what gaslighters do. Move the wrong they have done onto their partners. For instance, they say things like, “It is your fault I had to do this”, “if only you had told me this before…” – every blame starts and ends with you. In a healthy relationship, no individual is to be blamed entirely, all the time.
3. They Make You Question Your Sanity
Gaslighters love to have the power to make you feel that you are wrong in your thoughts. They love it when you start questioning your mindset and feeling that you are perhaps unstable. If you find yourself questioning your gut instincts and even what you’ve seen, there are chances that you are being gaslighted. In such situations, your partner is likely to use phases like “You are too sensitive” and “You are crazy” to work you up and make you believe that you are losing your sanity.
4. They Make You Feel Like A Liar
Another sign that you are probably being gaslighted is that your partner denies saying things to you. When you say something like, “I’d told you to keep the keys under the plant” to which his quip will immediately be, “But you never said that!” – when you know you repeated that statement several times. However small this might seem, his arguments will be set in a way that is enough to convince you that you never mentioned to him about the keys. What’s more, your partner may outright deny that certain conversations took place and twist the reality to a version that suits him. So much so that it makes you wonder whether you’re making it up in your mind and are imagining things.
5. They Discourage You From Having Friends
For your partner, he is your be all and end all. He wants and expects you to be dependent on him entirely. He is a control freak who gets perturbed if he sees or comes to know about you being in touch with friends and family – people whom you value and are of great support to you. This is because he doesn’t want you to have anyone who you can fall back on when the going gets touch with him. Instead, he wants complete control over your thoughts. He interprets your friends and family as competition that can take you away from him – an extremely unhealthy, possessive streak!
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