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5 Tips To Deal With Family Pressure When They Ask You To Have A Child

As soon as the new bahu starts settling in her new house and getting used to the rituals, rules and relations, the family begins asking her, “toh bahu good news kab dogi?”. Indian women face endless pressures throughout their life. Right from learning cooking, stitching to getting married at the “right” age and bearing children, the demands never stop.

Indian’s Obsession With Pregnancies

It can be subtle or direct, but in India, the pressure to become parents is pervasive. And it’s the woman who is asked uncomfortable questions and pushed to divulge personal information in order to satiate the constant goading of family and friends.

3 Ways To Deal With The Pressure To Get Pregnant 1. Communicate With Your Partner

One vital way to deal with this is to discuss it with your partner. Ideally, you should discuss kids before you get married. Talk and chalk out your plan to conceive with your partner. Make it a healthy, informative conversation and take into consideration all the pros and cons of your decisions.

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2. Share Your Plan

Once you have decided, announce it to your family. If you and your partner are being asked about getting pregnant time and again by your family, it’s best to discuss it openly. Sit them down and convey your decision as politely yet firmly as possible. This will make sure that your family is aware of your plans regarding the baby. Doing this together will create a stronger impact and put a stop to the pressure.

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3. Connect With A Supporter

 We all have one family member that just gets us. If you are close to your nanad or jethani/devrani, talk to them about this issue. This solution works best in homes where open conversations do not take place or there is hesitance in discussing such problems. Your trusted ally in the house can listen, offer support and have your back when the rest of the family puts pressure on you.

5 Tips To Tackle Arguments Made By The Family 1. Your Biological Clock Is Ticking

This is considered to be a fatal argument that no bahu can justify. But don’t let it affect you. Consult your gynaecologist and assess your fertility. Your doctor will give all the information you need based on your history and a physical examination

Interesting Fact Erramatti Mangayamma became the world’s oldest new mother and had twins at the age of 74 in India.

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2. Your Younger Sister/Cousin Is Pregnant

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Women no longer feel insecure or jealous if someone younger than them gets married or pregnant before them. So make your family understand that not all couples need to follow a timetable. Some are comfortable conceiving soon after marriage while some need to take their own time.

Did You Know? In India, the success rate of IVF ranges from 30% to 35%.

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3. Your Life Is Incomplete Without Kids

Reproduction is no longer our only goal as human beings. Several couples plan not to have kids for a number of reasons. Some see it as a big commitment that will completely change their lifestyle. Some argue that their careers are more important and a child can derail their ambitions.

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4. Babies Make Everything Better

Some mothers-in-law can be diplomatic when it comes to the subject of babies. They subtly try to coax you by showing cute baby videos and shoving someone’s child in your hand just to make you see their appeal. Some MILs tend to gossip about it and be extremely passive-aggressive in their demands.

5. Your Child Needs A Sibling To Play With

Even if a bahu “gifts” the family with a child, she is pressured to procure a second one soon. Arguments like your child will need someone to play with, he/she needs to learn to share, having 2 kids means they take care of each other are pretty common