Every relationship experiences some utar chadhav. Sometimes you feel happiness that cannot be put into words and at other times you find yourself lost in the whirlwind of negative emotions. One such undesirable feeling that can possibly hamper your happiness and relationship is jalan or jealousy.
Jealousy arises when someone feels insecure in their relationship or they are afraid of losing someone important. It is perfectly natural to occasionally feel jealous as long as you are dealing with it thoughtfully. However, when you become obsessed with your feelings and let them take control over you, jealousy can tear your relationship apart. Hence, it is crucial to communicate about your emotional experiences to avoid jealousy, and create safety and security in a relationship.
If you want to know how to remove jalan from your dil and #BeALittleMore than that, you’ve come to the right place! But before we get to that, let’s dig a little deeper into what causes jealousy and how it can jeopardise a healthy relationship.
What Causes Jealousy In A Relationship?
In order to understand the issue in a better way, you need to be aware of the main jealousy causes in a relationship.
- Feeling insecure and lack of self-confidence leads to jealousy in a relationship. When you do not love and respect yourself enough, you start to doubt whether your partner loves and respects you. You feel threatened that someone else may take your place.
- Having unrealistic expectations about a relationship or of a partner can result in jealousy.
- When you are over-dependent on your partner and your days revolve around them, you are likely to feel jealous when you don’t get undivided attention.
- The fear of losing someone important can also trigger the feeling of jealousy.
- Trauma from previous hurtful relationships, and other underlying issues, which leads to you ending up recreating or replaying those past dynamics in your present relationships
Impact Of Jealousy In A Relationship
Jealousy can have very destructive impacts on relationships. Some of these impacts include:
- The jealous person becomes needy and seeks constant reassurance, which can exhaust the other person and can harm the relationship.
- The controlling behaviour of a jealous partner limits the independence of their partner.
- It destroys trust in a relationship and leads to questions and arguments.
- Intense feelings of jealousy can result in lack of sleep, dizziness and depression.
- Jealousy reduces the emotions of safety, stability, joy and increases the series of negative emotions in a relationship.
- Constant demands, anger, accusations and mistrust can eventually cause the relationship to end.
How To Overcome Jealousy In A Relationship
Here is how to overcome jealousy before it hampers the relationship with your loved one:
1. Accept Your Feelings
Wondering how to overcome jealousy in a relationship? The first thing you need to do is accept your feelings. Do not deny the fact that you are feeling jealous. Be honest with yourself about your feelings and the problems they might be causing in your relationship. You can’t solve a problem if you don’t acknowledge it.
2. Get To The Root Of Jealousy
You have to understand what triggers your jealousy if you want to overcome it. Ask yourself why you are feeling jealous? Is it because of your partner’s behaviour? Or maybe because of your own insecurities about yourself? Or perhaps the patterns of past relationships are at play? To find a solution, it is necessary to go to the root of the issue.
3. Don’t Act On Your Feelings
Don’t let the feeling of jealousy consume you to the extent that you start acting on it. Your rash decisions can sabotage your relationship by hurting your partner’s feelings and causing distrust and fear.
4. Have Realistic Expectations
To overcome the feeling of jealousy, it is important to develop realistic expectations through mutual understanding and setting healthy boundaries. Be compassionate and empathetic towards each other.
If you are constantly feeling jealous, it is time to have an honest and open conversation with your partner about your feelings. To have a productive conversation, explain yourself calmly. Refrain from throwing accusations at your partner. Work on establishing boundaries and behaviour so that you both can feel safe and happy in your relationship.
6. Create An Atmosphere Of Trust
Be specific about what is triggering your jealousy and work on those triggers with your partner to build trust. Ask them to reassure you. Try to be transparent with each other and take accountability for your actions. When you both consider and embrace each other’s vulnerabilities, it will strengthen your relationship.
7. Focus On Your Sense Of Security
Lack of self-esteem can act as fuel to the fire of jealousy. Work on yourself and try to not depend on your partner for everything. Practice self-love and self-compassion. Don’t compare yourself with others. Build your self-confidence to overcome the feeling of jealousy.
8. Talk It Out
If you feel that you are not able to overcome your feelings by yourself, it is important to talk about it with the right person. You can talk to people who are supportive of you and still see both sides of the coin. Or you can seek professional help by going to a therapist. This will help validate your feelings so that you can handle them healthily.
9. Recognise When Jealousy Is Abusive
Jealousy is a normal feeling that people occasionally experience in a relationship. However, sometimes it can become toxic and abusive, especially if it includes extreme anger, control and accusations. You need to recognise the signs and seek immediate help.
Feeling jealous is a common thing that everyone experiences in their relationships. But it becomes unhealthy if you indulge in it and act upon it impulsively. This can potentially destroy the relationship that you are so afraid to lose. It is important to step back and analyse your feelings when you are feeling jealous and work on them to build a healthy and secure relationship. If you are wondering how to get over retroactive jealousy, the tips given away are a good way to start. All the best!
Open up like never before and participate in conversations about beauty, entrepreneurship, mental health, menstrual & sexual health, and more. Desi women, join our community NOW!