Often, we unknowingly make a huge mistake when it comes to happiness. We consider it to be one-dimensional when in reality it’s not. Happiness in one area of your life can increase while getting diminished in the other. The secret of happiness is the fact that you can’t have it all. Every single one of us experiences different forms of happiness and they do not necessarily have to be complementary. As a result, at times it can get quite difficult to remain happy and attract positive thoughts.
It’s simply because you often think that you can possess your own happiness. Anything you desire to own will always end up escaping you. The society we live in has set up materialistic traps that have us in the loop; they can never address the question of how to stay happy and find positivity in things that are not tangible. If you think money can give you happiness, in the process of earning more you end up losing yourself. Nowadays, even finding a suitable partner has become a societal-influenced business. Those unbelievable standards of expectations in your life, anyone (apart from you) deciding about your own future, people being judgmental, and comparison and concentrating on the wrong things can often lead to extensive unhappiness.
Before beginning to understand how to stay happy and positive, let’s look into some common causes of unhappiness.
5 Key Reasons Why You’re Unhappy
Sometimes you can end up blaming the wrong person for your unhappiness. You seldom forget that the devil can even reside within you. Here are some top reasons why you end up having negative thoughts and fail to stay happy.
1. Trying So Hard
You can end up being unhappy if you try hard all the time. There is no standard to happiness and thereby, working hard and trying to achieve that set standard will do nothing for you. You can invest all your energy, money and resources into achieving that perfect life that you thought would bring you happiness but in reality, when you actually reach that stage, everything seems shallow.
2. Everything Needs To Be Perfect
Perfection is rarely an attainable goal. Many of us often have this feeling that positivity and happiness come with standards of perfection, but not really. Decide on what’s good enough for a specific task rather than always jumping to perfection. This incessant pursuit for perfection and positivity has often led us to feel more rotten than ever. If you want to be happy, allow yourself to be satisfied with what you’re doing.
3. Always Trying To Predict The Future
Our society is obsessed with always trying to predict what the future holds for us. It’s understandable that knowing your future can give you a sense of comfort. However, if you try and fixate on what will happen five years from now, you’re doing nothing but damaging the current and ongoing aspects of happiness. Your happiness secret doesn’t rest in the future but in the present.
4. You Feel That Other People Are Just Lucky
This is a feeling of helplessness which every human tends to cultivate at some point in their life. Always remember that other people might seem to be happy but truly, they can also be going through the same troubles that you’re facing. You just don’t know it! The sooner one realises that good fortune doesn’t come with luck, the better. It’s a degrading and an extremely negative outlook that not only decreases your self-esteem, but you also tend to lose your willpower.
5. You Think You Don’t Deserve Anything
It’s highly understandable that you might be going through some hard times in your life that can bring you to think you don’t deserve happiness. It naturally doesn’t exist on its own. If you’re too self-critical or hard on yourself, you will feel like you’ve failed even if you’ve done an above-average job which deserves appreciation in the least, if not praise.
How To Stay Happy & Positive Always?
It might be hard at first to try to follow a pattern to remain happy and positive. The pursuit of happiness doesn’t come with a timetable though. Nevertheless, if the below scientifically proven methods don’t convince you, then what will?
1. Let Go Of The Negativity
A study conducted by the University of Madrid proved that writing your negative thoughts on a piece of paper and actually burning or tearing it apart can make you feel better. So when you find yourself filled with negativity, de-clutter your mind and focus only on the positive affirmations. You can journal about your thoughts, talk to a friend, or even a therapist to get the negativity out of your mind and body.
Ever wondered why someone feels energetic and upbeat after a workout? Exercise releases good endorphins that always put you in a better mood. Any form of physical activity helps tackle feeling low and sad. Do something that makes you feel calm, composed and in a better mood like yoga, cardio, Zumba, brisk walking, bodyweight exercises, etc. Squeeze in a quick 15-30 minutes session every day.
3. Practice Gratitude
There can be moments when you wake up every morning and have this sick feeling in your stomach where you don’t feel like getting out of bed. This is primarily because you don’t have anything, in particular, to look forward to. If this feeling persists for a few days, you can begin to feel depressed or even have anxiety about the day ahead. Psychologists suggest you immediately grab a diary and jot down things you’re grateful for. How does this work? When you’re writing down points or people you’re grateful for in your life, you are taking cognisance of all the good things in your life. You ignite a sense of gratitude and thankfulness for what you have, instead of wallowing in what you don’t have.
4. Focus On The Life You Want To Build
Focus on your priorities and live a life which is best suited for you. Understand that there’s more to life than just winning the lottery. Therefore, build a life which focuses on your strengths. People who dwell their lives on strengths rather than their weaknesses tend to normally live a much healthier life than others.
5. Dedicate Some Time For Others
Researchers have found that people who tend to help others live a much happier and a positive life than those who choose to base their life on material possessions. The latter might cause a brief spark of happiness but long-term happiness comes from sheer satisfaction, which is ignited when you’re being helpful to someone. It sparks the reward center in your brain.
6. Don’t Obsess Over Happiness
Sometimes it’s a bad idea to always chase happiness. It can turn out to be counter-intuitive since the more we try to build our own happiness, the less we care about the happiness of other people around us. This can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection. If you always have this thought running time and again through your head that ‘I must feel happy no matter what’, it can lead to disappointment if you don’t achieve that state. Your main happiness secret is not obsessing over happiness. For instance, during the pandemic, it’s perfectly normal to have days where you’re feeling low and anxious. It’s been life-changing for the whole world, so it’s only natural that we let our mind also cope with the ‘new normal’ and not just the body.
5 Key Takeaways
- Any state of eternal happiness is a myth that you have to bust. If you face a problem in your life that is meaning to steal away your happiness, don’t run away from it. Instead, face it like a challenge.
- Don’t run away from life. Have patience and try to always look at the brighter side. If you’re single, stop asking yourself how to stay happy alone or if you’re married stop asking yourself how to stay happy in marriage. Happiness doesn’t work this way. You have to build on patience and perseverance to look out for yourself in both these situations.
- Happiness is about doing what you love to do. Don’t let society or others decide things for you. Always try to make your own decisions.
- A place where your wants and desires end and sharing begins, happiness and positivity resides there.
- Dedicate your life to a larger goal and always keep away from people who bring in negativity or isolation. Once you start sharing your happiness with others, it’ll grow ten-fold.
Positivity and happiness will become unconditional once you start finding them in your own self. Drop all your unpleasant memories in the past and start living in the present.
Let us know in the comments below how you try to build a positive and happy outlook in life!