It all started with a dream of a life together. An ideal partner, a beautiful home, maybe children, a dog – the perfect life envisioned. It is a crushing feeling to realize that reality feels like a prison. Contemplating ending a marriage is giving up not only the reality of the relationship but the picture of what you thought your life would become. No one plans to get divorced and holding on to the picture of what you created is a really appealing option. But you should leave when you and your partner are on good terms.
On Saturday, Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao issued a joint statement announcing their separation that has stirred up the conversation about having a mutual divorce. They issued a statement together saying, “Hum bas itna kehna chahte hai ki hum dono bahut khush hai and ab ek hi parivaar hai. Humare rishte mai change ayah hai, par hum ek dusre ke sath hi hain”.
10 Reasons Why A Good Divorce Is Better Than A Bad Marriage
Going through the difficulty of separating your lives is not an easy or enviable task. But coasting along in an unfulfilled, uninspired relationship is not better than a good divorce. No one should give up valuable parts of themselves to make a relationship work. Healthy relationships are the foundation for our physical health, mental well-being and are the foundation for our growth as an individual.
1. Your Health Will Improve
A lousy marriage impacts your health, both physically and mentally. Your unwillingness to remove the toxic half from your life and stay in a bad marriage because you love them only makes matters worse. Know that staying with such a person means that you are at increased risk of a heart attack, diabetes, cancer, and a weak immune system. Hence, keep asking yourself, do I want this or a healthy life I will be happy in? If the answer is the latter, then make the change, and everything will fall into place, including your health.
2. Your Children Will Be Happier
Many couples realize that they are unhappy and still decide to stay married “for their children’s sake.” But the more they see their parents in a bad marriage, the more confused they get about marital relationships. Divorce is one of the most important lessons your children will ever experience. Do it well, with kindness and love and empathy and they will witness what true love actually means. Therefore, to save your children, you need to save yourself first by getting out of a toxic marriage, and once you’re out and happy, your children will be happier. Be honest with your children, help them understand and see the change that comes with it.
3. You Will Be Happy
Life is too short to waste on contradictory people and unhealthy relationships. And if you feel that your marriage is only making you feel unfulfilled and unhappy, it’s definitely time to go. Divorce is no less than trauma, and it takes time to heal from, but a good divorce is better as you will be happier doing things you love and you would not need to lose the friend in your partner. Life allows you to start from scratch, and that will be an amazing experience. You will start prioritizing yourself, you will listen to yourself, and most of all, you will be doing what makes you happy. Learn how to get over separation and divorce stress here.
4. You Can Devote Your Energy To Personal Growth
If you stay in an unhealthy marriage for a long time, your emotional well-being is always at stake. This numbing pain can give you the feeling that you’ve started to lose yourself. A bad marriage may keep you from doing the things in life that you want to do or having the things in life that you deserve. So after a divorce, you can finally stop putting all of your energy into a relationship that no longer works and use it for other important areas of your life. To feel even better, start exercising, eat right and get new clothes. Transform into the best possible version of yourself.
5. You Will Be Hopeful
If you get divorced, start finding hope and the things you need to look forward to. You should look forward to the opportunities that await you, you should look forward to happy, positive days, you should look forward to a non-toxic environment, and you should look for the person that may be your true love. Divorce is terrifying, but a good divorce is important because it allows you to start again for a better tomorrow. Read here to learn how to rebuild your life after a divorce.
6. You Can Have A Healthy Relationship After Divorce
Your relationship doesn’t need to end in a fiery blow-up. You chose to love and marry this person. You built a life together, created a family, you were there for each other through difficult times. The good parts of your relationship don’t need to change, take the example of Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne Khan. After 5 years of divorce, the two never stopped being friends and doting parents to their kids Hrehaan and Hridaan. So, with a good divorce, you have the opportunity to preserve some semblance of a friendship. Amidst the Coronavirus health scare, Hrithik and Sussanne even moved in together during the first lockdown to take better care of their kids, revealing a beautiful relationship and setting an extraordinary example of co-parenting after divorce.
7. You’ll Have Better Focus On Life
A good divorce is better than a toxic marriage because it will help you bring the focus on yourself. When the focus is back, you will start prioritizing yourself and doing things that make you mentally and physically stronger. When a woman gets divorced, she usually works harder for her career. She finds it better since there are no distractions or unhappiness. She can end up with higher lifetime earnings, which eventually makes her buy a better house, have more money in her bank for retirement, and get higher social security benefits.
8. You And Your Partner May Encourage Each Other’s Growth
Learning to let go and step into the unknown may be the single most important thing you can do for your own sanity and the sanity of those around you. There are times that divorce is the best choice in order to allow both partners to grow and achieve the life they desire, and in some scenarios, the life they deserve. The good thing about divorce is that you can start doing whatever makes your soul happy, whatever helps you grow, whatever you loved, and eventually, you will see the change it brings in you.
9. You Will Feel Free
Getting out of an unhealthy relationship is one of the most liberating feelings ever. You may have lost your spouse, but you actually won so much more. Most importantly, you won your happiness and your freedom back. Consider how getting divorced might free up your energy and focus, for happier things. Copious amounts of thought and energy go into trying to maintain a relationship, and those amounts are doubled when you don’t feel like your partner is meeting you halfway. When you and your partner have a divorce on good terms, you both can spend more time being there for your kids and yourself.
10. You Might Meet Your Significant Other
Divorce gives you a chance to find yourself and reconnect, which eventually opens the door for falling in love with the right person and hopefully spend your life with them. Starting over is scary, but remember that staying in a bad or unhealthy marriage is scarier; therefore, try to stand up for yourself if you aren’t happy. Get back to the dating world at this time; you’ll be clearer about what you want and need.
Tips To Have An Amicable Divorce
Divorce can be upsetting and difficult for a couple as well as for the children. However, there are steps you can take to help ease the worries and problems that most associate with getting a divorce. It all has to do with your attitude and controlling your thoughts.
- Try to think about the good times you and your spouse had together. There had to be a lot of them, at least at the beginning of the marriage. You can even write down these experiences so you get a visual of the best parts of your marriage.
- Don’t talk bad about your partner in front of your children. They are already going to go through a number of changes and are probably very nervous.
- Don’t argue in front of the children, either. This only drives their insecurity levels upward quickly.
- Don’t decide you want certain items in the divorce just to be spiteful. This won’t help you to be friendly during a divorce. Don’t take any harsh decisions, work together through the divorce.
- It’s hard to do, but try to remove all feelings from the process and think thoroughly before taking your decisions from here forward.
A life spent without happiness is draining, and no one deserves it. No one leaves their marriage on a whim. By waiting for things to get bad enough to leave, you might endanger a peaceful and kind resolution. Delay of the inevitable is ultimately even more painful than letting go. As your frustration with the situation increases, it becomes less likely that you can decouple in a mindful way. There is a relief to finally making the decision and beginning to rebuild your relationship on new terms.