Children can be a sensitive subject for women. Expressing a desire to have children can make you seem uninterested in a career, while not wanting to have kids can draw accusations of weakness or selfishness. Just do what makes you the happiest version of yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything. It isn’t selfish to say no. In fact, it can often be a form of self-care. As long as you’re clear about what you want, listen to nobody else! If your parents take the news hard, it’s natural to want to console or explain your choice to them. However, nobody else is entitled to question your decision or make you feel bad about your choice.
15 Women Share Their Opinions About Having Children
TC46 put out a post on Instagram here saying “Normalise women not wanting children. It’s a choice, not a life goal!” And received a ton of comments where women shared their inputs! Here are the 15 eye-opening opinions from real women who stand for the right to choose!
“Some women do not feel the need to adjust or compromise their lives around children, even if it is a difficult choice. I personally know many women in India who are living on their own terms and are extremely happy with their lives. You can always leave families that are not supportive. Women need to be independent in order to be able to make such choices and therefore I encourage you to do the same if you desire so.” – Komal*
“You will find many women who strongly agree with the choice of having kids, but where to find such men who agree with the same? This change needs to be accepted by everyone!” – Harshita*
“I am a happily married 38-year-old woman who lives with her loving husband and adoring in-laws. I have been through multiple miscarriages, failed IVF attempts and I no longer want to go through it. Not having a child doesn’t make me sad, it was meant to be this way and so it is. Today, I have everything in my life and if a day arrives where I feel the urge to be a mother, I will bring home a child that needs a loving family.” – Gautami*
“It’s a choice to have kids, similarly it’s a choice to not have them. If you respect the choice to have kids, then you should respect the choice to not have children as well. You can’t cherry-pick.” – Tanishka*
“Agreed, one should have the right to lead the life he or she wants to. But in Indian society, all this seems lame and almost not possible to even think of. SMH…” – Riya*
“It’s not that our population is too small that we need to reproduce. So, if some people decide not to do it, then it is absolutely their choice and no one should make any comments!” – Somya*
“I’m a typical Indian woman, completed my education, got married at 24 and did everything I should do as a good bahu. But life had other plans and after a long battle with domestic violence and getting a divorce, I am free. Free to make my own decisions and not having kids is one of them.” – Mitali*
“Absolutely true that having a child is not a life goal! Society needs to accept this change soon!” – Chelsea*
“Those who want to bear children will bear them. Nobody can force someone to have children. Not everybody’s life goal is to have children. You must understand this basic tenet of free will. The world is suffering from overpopulation, anyway. This is the age of an individual, so people should stop being naive.” – Aarushi*
“I don’t want any children in a world where women are not allowed a choice anyway.” – Vanshika*
“I love babies and have loved them ever since I was a child. Up until a few years ago, I was sure that I wanted a baby in my life. However, life is unpredictable and I refuse to bend over backwards just to have a child. I have PCOS and have made peace with the fact that I may never have kids or even want to have kids. Period.” – Vrushika*
“Not every woman wants a child. Childfree life is also an option.” – Pari*
“Kids don’t bring me joy. I do enjoy spending time with my nieces and nephews but having a baby of my own is simply not on my list of life goals. My job, as a journalist, is demanding and it’s something I see doing for a long, long time. It’s clear, my career is my baby and I am nurturing it with love and care!” – Chhaya*
“A woman’s worth should never be defined by societal expectations. Wishing to not have a child should always be a judgement-free option because women are the ones who bear the child after all!” – Shanaya*
“Kids look cute in commercials and when they make weird faces. And I would rather enjoy that from afar. Having grown up in a broken family, I know that bringing a child into the world shouldn’t be a whimsical decision and not everyone is meant to be a parent.” – Geeta*
There’s no escapism from the expectations that women are put through, all you can do is trust your instincts and believe in your decisions. It’s OK to not want kids. It’s OK if you don’t want to be a parent, and there’s nothing wrong with this decision. The truth is, you can be happy no matter what you choose. It is your life and your journey, so make sure you don’t give in to any pressure. Always remember, if a woman has made the choice to be child-free it means she is happy with her decision and it should be celebrated like any other decision in life!
Disclaimer: Please note that the responses have been translated and edited for clarity. Names have been changed to respect privacy.
Do you have a story to share or an experience you would like to highlight on TC46? Connect with us on Instagram today!