Parenting is hard, there’s no shortcut or golden rule to it, and when you have to do it all on your own, the challenges might increase. Shweta Tiwari has been a prime example of a single mother in the Indian television and film industry. Shweta has been through a lot of trouble in her relationships but she has been strong for her children all her life. Shweta was earlier married to the Bhojpuri actor Raja Choudhary, with whom she has a daughter named Palak Tiwari. But they got divorced amid domestic abuse claims, and she remarried. From her second marriage with Abhinav Kohli, Shweta has a son named Reyansh. Shweta has shown us all what a fun and friendly mother she is. She proves that a mother can fulfil all duties of both parents and have a successful career for herself.
Find here 10 reasons why a good divorce is better than a bad marriage.
5 Ways Single Moms Can Thrive At Parenting
1. Be Open About The Past & Your Emotions
Your children are the pillars of your strength and opening up to your children and explaining to them the situation goes a long way in their lives. Your children can see what is happening and it might traumatise them, whether you are going through a divorce or your husband has passed away or something else. Shweta says, “I am not able to save them from the whole situation. To lead a happy life, to come out of the mess, I have only one way which is to be with them as well go to the court or police station. I know they are suffering because I chose the wrong men. That was my fault, not theirs. But they are going through this strong, they are smiling through it.” it becomes your responsibility to help them understand and process the situation in a healthy way.
2. Create A Routine With Your Children
Planning fun activities or even helping them with their homework, spending quality time with your children can help them process their feelings and be assured that you are always with them. It gives a sense of safety when you have a routine and follow it through. Structure such as regularly scheduled meals and bedtimes, helps your child know what to expect. Set aside time each day to play, read or simply sit with your child. This also instils the habit of time management and planning in your children.
3. Make The Most Of Everyday Moments
The only thing that is consistent is ‘change’ so make every little moment count. Shweta’s Instagram is standing proof that she knows how to have fun with her kids. You can see her taking trips, hanging out with Palak and Reyansh at home, playing games and spending quality time. If you have more than one child, try to make some regular time alone with each child. Don’t let any special moment pass, celebrate at every chance you get, complement your kids’ achievements, go to their debates or competitions, even sharing a meal can be made special. Just be interested in their lives.
4. Maintain A Healthy Parenting Balance
Finding a balance can be difficult but you have to fulfil the roles of being a mother and father in your child’s life. You have to prove to your child that there is nothing that a particular gender can do. Shweta always sends out the message that “I have my daughter, my son, have my house to look after. I am the only earning member, I am the strongest, I think I am the man-woman of the house.” Help them break stereotypes and send positive messages about the opposite sex. If your partner is reliable when it comes to parenting, you can have them involved in your children’s lives and work on co-parenting.
5. Be The Boss Of Your Own Lives
Shweta says, “You be in a live-in relationship for 10 years and leave, no one will question you but you walk out of a marriage after two years, everyone will say, ‘How many times will she get married?’ People walk up to me to tell me ‘Don’t get married a third time.’ Will I ask them? Who are they? Are they paying for my wedding? This is my decision. This is my life.” Take inspiration from her and do not let anybody tell you how you should live.
Tips For All The Single Moms Out There
Single parenting can seem daunting, but you need to stay focused on the positive. Here are a few tips that can help:
- Take care of yourself, include physical activity in your daily routine, eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep
- Indulge in hobbies and take routinely time out to be with yourself
- Let others in, you can take the help of a therapist or talk to your loved ones
- Don’t feel guilty or blame yourself
- Set limits and boundaries, not just from your ex-husband but also from your children. Clearly communicate your expectations and ask them about theirs
- Take full charge of your finances
- Trust your instincts and be confident about yourself
- Lastly, understand that nobody is perfect and don’t be hard on yourself
As a parent you try your best to give everything to your child, ups and downs are a part of one’s life but when you stay strong, you become the ultimate role model for your kids. Always remember, being a single mother is one of the most empowering things that prove just how strong you can be! So, trust yourself and have a happy parenting experience!