Self StartersIs Sex For The First Time Always Painful? 10 Tips To Help...

Is Sex For The First Time Always Painful? 10 Tips To Help You Get Ready To Pop Your Cherry

First times are always special! As when it is about having sex for the first time, it becomes especially more important since you are going to cherish those moments for the rest of your life. Under all the excitement, you are likely to feel a bit scared and probably confused. But don’t worry, with a little planning and preparation, you can make your first time go a lot more smoothly. 

Is First Time Sex Always Painful?

This is a common query among women who are planning to have sex for the first time. The amount and duration of pain you may feel after your first time varies from one woman to another. While some may at all, others may find the experience quite painful. Many women feel pain like a prick of a needle. 

However, if you are turned on and relaxed, the probability of pain goes down. Spending considerable time on foreplay will also aid in preparing you and your partner for the next step. You can also use lube for the first few times to make things a lot more comfortable. If you continue feeling sore and uncomfortable, it might be a sign that you are not ready or you are pushing yourself too hard. If this happens, stop.

10 Tips To Help You Get Ready To Pop Your Cherry

To help you out, we have a list of 10 things you can do to prepare when having sex for the first time.

1. Be Sure You Are Ready

It is vital to be a hundred per cent sure that you’ve decided to have sex only for yourself and for no other reason. If you are doing it because your partner wants to or because all your friends have, you need to stop and think. To make your first time really special, you need to be absolutely sure that you are ready. 

2. Read Up

If you are under the impression that you don’t really need to prepare for your first time because it will all come naturally to you, you may have to reconsider. A little preparation will ensure that you are not caught off-guard by any unseen situation. Educate yourself on sexual intercourse, safe sex, protection, STDs, erogenous zones etc. you may also consider talking to an expert or medical professional if you have any doubts or queries. 

3. Have Realistic Expectations

People tend to have exceptionally high expectations from their first time. While it’s natural to expect it to be special and memorable, make sure your expectations are realistic. Be true and fair to yourself as well as your partners. Expecting unrealistic fantasies like in the movies may lead to disappointment and resentment. Along with all the excitement, you may also feel confused, hesitant or nervous. And that’s OKAY! After all, this is a big step! However, if you are feeling overwhelmed things seems to be rather overwhelming, it is best to visit a sex therapist or a counsellor to understand the underlying issues. 

4. Know Your Own Body

Knowing what you like (and what you don’t) can make sex much more enjoyable. Discover what turns you on and where and how you like being touched. Whether you want to do it alone or with your partner, masturbation can be a lot of fun. Plus it helps you find out what you need to make your first time more pleasurable. 

5. Communicate And Discus

Communicate your feelings to your partner and let them know how you honestly feel. If you have any concerns or fears, talking with your partner will help relieve some anxiety. Remember, this is not about pleasing your partner. Both of you should enjoy the experience equally. You and your partner should be equally invested and comfortable and discussing things beforehand are the best way to ensure that.

6. Boundaries!

While discussing things, make sure you and your partner also talk about boundaries. Share the things you want to include in your first time. And more importantly, share the things that are an absolute no-no. Tell him about the places you liked to be touched as well as the areas or moves that might make you uncomfortable. Discussing boundaries becomes especially important if you or your partner have experienced abuse or assault in the past. This will help you guys set realistic expectations and take some pressure off during the act. 

7. Establish Trust

Knowing that you can trust your partner will make your experience much better and safer. Whether you see a future with your partner or you know this is going to be a one-time thing only, a little trust goes a long way! Share your experience and ask him to do the same. It is important for both of you to be on the same page.

8. Choose The Right Location

Many people don’t tend to put much thought into it but choosing the right location to have sex for the first time is a vital step in the planning process. Discuss whether you want to go to his place or are you more comfortable at your own house? If you or your partner have roommates or family, find a time when they aren’t expected to be home at least for a few hours. 

If you are planning to get a room, do some research and look for ones with high ratings. Choose a comfortable place where you both can get some undisturbed quality time. This may not be possible if you are planning to do it outside or in the car.  Also, make sure that the place has basic amenities such as a clean bathroom. You may also want to set the mood with music and lighting. 

9. Prep Your Tools

Once you have decided on a comfortable location, it’s time to make a list of things you may need for the big day (or night!). A few of these things are tissues, lubricants, and condoms. Using a lubricant for the first time can help make things easier. Invest in water-based lubes manufactured by trusted brands. Or maybe you plan to include a few toys to make your first time more special! You may also want to keep a loose t-shirt or a robe near you if you are still conscious about getting up naked in front of your partner. 

10. Hygiene Is Important

Read up on good hygiene before, during and after having sex. For starters, it is preferable to cut your nails before. During sex, make sure your partner uses a new condom for every activity, even if there is no ejaculation. Peeing before and after sex helps reduce the probability of UTIs in women. Once you are done, make sure to clean up anybody fluids using a tissue or wet towel. 

Parting Thoughts

No matter how foolproof your planning and preparation is, your first time won’t be as perfect as it is in your mind. And that is absolutely fine! It’s your first time, after all. The goal is to relax and have fun. Even if things turn a bit awkward, it’s okay as long as it feels good! All the best.

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