For many women who say that achieving an orgasm can be difficult, achieving multiple orgasms can be a long-awaited dream. While faking it might seem like a good idea at the time, it certainly is a useless one in the long run. It can be more complicated for a woman to figure out what works for her and women just aren’t having as many orgasms as men in general. But the amazing benefit of being a woman is the ability to have multiple orgasms. But remember, having multiple orgasms is not restricted to one particular gender. It’s just easier for women to achieve them as they are built to orgasm again and again.
So the question is, how to improve your chances of achieving multiple orgasms, when you’re having trouble hitting the big O even once? Let’s first learn what multiple orgasms really are about.
What Are Multiple Orgasms?
Multiple orgasms generally refer to more than one orgasm in a single session. Sex therapists believe that not only can we differentiate between multiple orgasms and one orgasm (as we do with vaginal orgasm and clitoral orgasm), there a few different types of multiple orgasms.
- Compound Singles: This is where each orgasm is separate and distinct, and in between orgasms, the woman is either partially aroused or not aroused at all, and the time between them can be fairly substantial.
- Sequential Multiples: This is where orgasms are a few minutes apart with fairly consistent arousal in between fairly distinct orgasms.
- Serial Multiple: These orgasms are only a few seconds apart and often feel like one large orgasm with spasms of different intensities.
Multiple climax can:
- Be spaced out
- Occur in quick succession
- One after the other
- Vary in intensity
Busting The Myth: Edging Equals Multiple Orgasms
Edging refers to bringing yourself (or your partner) right to the brink of orgasms several times without actually allowing orgasm to take place for a long while. This is completely opposite of multiple orgasms. The idea is that by denying the orgasm over and over again, it’s bigger, better, and stronger when it finally happens.
5 Ways For Women To Achieve Multiple Orgasms
Here are some tips, tricks, dos and don’ts of how to reach multiple orgasms.
1. Practise Kegel Exercises
Like the rest of your body, if your pelvic floor muscle is toned and fit, it works better, pumping even more blood to the pelvis (which is great for arousal) and making stronger contractions – giving longer, more intense orgasms.
Here’s how you do it:
- Simply squeeze the muscle you use to hold back urine.
- Hold it for two seconds, then release.
- Do this 20 times, three times per day.
2. Don’t Rush The Foreplay
If you want to have an orgasm, let alone multiples, oral sex is key. The clitoris is the woman’s orgasm centre and it is not stimulated during intercourse. Clitoral stimulation from oral sex is the easiest way to achieve an orgasm for women. If you’re aroused slowly, then you’ll stay aroused for longer, and unlike manual stimulation, your partner’s tongue is flexible, soft and strong – the perfect tool for making that happen.
3. Do Use Varied Stimulation
Sex can get repetitive between partners, making it boring for the brain. It is important to stimulate not just your body, but also your brain. And one way to do it is trying new techniques, positions and toys. If you’re expecting yourself to orgasm again and again with the same stimuli then you’re probably going to be disappointed, so mix it up a bit. Try mutual masturbation, vibrating sex toys, changing the place and space along with some never-tried-before positions. These additional tips on female masturbation can help you when you go solo.
4. Let Your Mind & Body Relax
Taking a moment to relax between orgasms and just letting your body switch off and go to sleep are two completely different concepts. A breather before you continue, just enough to be mindful of your body and the sensations, without losing any of the passion can be really helpful. It gives you the chance to change positions if you are uncomfortable or getting tired. Also, it builds up some sexual tension that will only boost your chances of having multiple orgasms.
5. Remember, Practice Makes Perfect
If you want to get good at something, you’re going to have to put in some practice. And what’s more fun than sex! Discover something new about yourself or your partner as you indulge in sexual intercourse. You may find some hidden erogenous zones or come up with a unique way to satisfy each other. Each orgasm will feel more intense than the one before it, and the more you practice the easier you’ll find it to reach the second, and third, and fourth.
- Don’t pile on the expectations. Let it be an adventure instead of a mission
- Do talk about boundaries. Let your partner know what’s good and what’s not
- Do learn about your pelvic floor. The pelvic floor muscles play a big role in orgasms
- Do get aroused. Give yourself time to be stimulated enough to engage in sex
- Don’t hesitate to touch. From hands, mouth, tongue to toys, use varied stimuli
- Do stay open-minded. Tune in to your mind-body connection
- Do pick your position carefully. Try to stimulate your clitoris to get multiple orgasms
You know what you consider to be multiple orgasms if you have them. The problem with labels is that if a woman feels something, or doesn’t, or doesn’t consider herself to be able to have multiple orgasms, she might believe something is missing. Let’s change how we look at it. It isn’t an ‘achievement’. It’s an experience. When felt, it’s amazing, but it doesn’t mean you have achieved orgasmic nirvana and it doesn’t mean your sex life isn’t amazing if you experience orgasms as a singular sensation. It’s absolutely fine as long as the sex you do have if you choose to have sex, is consensual, enjoyable, and satisfying.